Words, Words, Words (Fourth Edition)

I'm learning how to decode the Irish accents I keep hearing. The rhythm of the speech, the confirmation questions tagged onto the end, matched to a few strange pronunciations, nearly combine to create the effect of a foreign language on the ear. But I'm making headway, with every new chatterbox that I overhear quite brazenly. At least, I make headway in Dublin. Then I catch a train to a new region and go back to square one. On this island, the amount of different shades of green is only matched by that of regional accents.

Anyway. My eavesdropping continues to be fruitful, memorable, and completely unquestionable. Enjoy.

"Your eyebrows are much nicer now." - girl complimenting her friend in the Student Centre.

"Metaphors for me sometimes do my f***ing head in." - writer in creative writing workshop.

"Our aim is to keep this toilet clean. Gentlemen, your aim would help." - restroom sign of Carlingford Arms Bar restroom sign.

"Some of the worst possible day-drinking you can do is whiskey." - girl giving a word of warning in the Student Centre.

"Before I die, I want to SCHWEEEEEN!!!" - poster in Newman building.

"I like his voice. Get off my lawn." - man discussing Clint Eastwood in Science building.

"And then the parents walk in...with sex toys." - girl telling quite the story on campus.

"Never give an open-ended instructions to young people, because they will wilfully misinterpret it." - visiting Irish author on his teaching days.

"He was problematically flatulent." - same author remembering his brother as a child.

"It's funny to discover a conscience in your fifties." - same author (by then on a roll) reflecting on his work.

"I just have regenerative properties that make me look immortal." - man talking with his friends on train into Dublin.

"It's like a perfect salad of everything." - English woman in Limerick.

"Just like that. All of life, gone just like that." - old man in the Black Swan (pub) in Limerick.

"Eyooooohhhh...oooAAUUGHhhh...OOOWwooh!" - drunken Munster fans singing victorious songs on the train out of Limerick.

"Never trust the Dubs [Dubliners]!" - man from Cork upon hearing that the train to Cork was delayed half an hour.